Beginning the Journey: Starting Psychotherapy from a Humanistic Perspective

Beginning psychotherapy is often an act of profound courage. It requires a willingness to explore one’s inner world, to face discomfort, and to take responsibility for personal growth. From a humanistic perspective, and especially within the framework developed by Carl Rogers, psychotherapy is not about diagnosing or "fixing" a person. Rather, it is about creating a space in which individuals can reconnect with their own capacity for self-understanding, healing, and actualization. At its heart, it is an encounter between two human beings—one who is seeking and one who is listening with empathy, authenticity, and unconditional positive regard.

Carl Rogers believed that every person possesses within themselves the resources for self-growth and healing. However, life experiences—particularly those involving conditional acceptance, trauma, or neglect—can distort our perception of ourselves and the world. We begin to act not from our true self, but from a “conditioned” self, shaped by the expectations and judgments of others. The therapeutic relationship, as Rogers envisioned it, offers an opportunity to peel back those layers and rediscover the person we truly are, underneath the masks we have learned to wear.

Starting therapy can feel daunting. It might stir up fears of being judged, misunderstood, or exposed. But in the humanistic approach, these fears are met not with interpretation or analysis, but with deep acceptance. The therapist is not an authority figure but a companion—a fellow traveler on the path of self-discovery. Their role is to provide a climate of psychological safety, where you feel free to be vulnerable, to speak truths you may have never spoken before, and to explore feelings you may have long buried.

In this space, the therapist listens not only to the words you say but to the emotions beneath them. They reflect your experiences back to you in ways that help you gain insight and clarity. This process is less about solving problems and more about understanding yourself. As your self-awareness grows, so does your ability to make choices that align with your deeper values and needs. You begin to live more authentically—not according to what others expect, but according to what truly feels right for you.

An essential part of this journey is the therapist's unconditional positive regard. This means accepting you without judgment, regardless of what you share. It is a radical stance in a world that so often offers love and approval only under certain conditions. Over time, this kind of acceptance can help dissolve shame and self-criticism, allowing you to experience yourself with more compassion and gentleness. You learn that you are worthy—not because of what you do or achieve, but simply because you are.

Another core principle in humanistic therapy is congruence. The therapist strives to be genuine and transparent, not hiding behind a professional mask. This authenticity invites the client to also be real. It models a way of relating that is honest and human. Through this mutual authenticity, a relationship of trust and respect develops, often becoming a powerful vehicle for transformation.

Therapy, in this view, is not about applying techniques or offering advice. It is about being present. It is about witnessing someone’s pain without rushing to fix it, and honoring someone’s potential without trying to direct it. The therapist does not impose a path; they walk alongside the client as the client discovers their own. This deep respect for the individual’s autonomy and wisdom is what distinguishes humanistic therapy from more directive approaches.

Clients often begin therapy seeking relief from specific problems—anxiety, depression, grief, relationship issues. These are real and valid concerns, and therapy addresses them. But what often emerges over time is something broader: a reawakening of self. Clients find not just solutions, but a renewed sense of meaning, connection, and agency. They begin to trust themselves more. They find clarity not only about what hurts, but about what they long for—and how to move toward it.

Starting psychotherapy is not about becoming someone else. It is about becoming more fully yourself. It is a process of shedding what no longer serves you, healing from what has harmed you, and stepping into the wholeness that has always been within you. This is not always easy. It requires commitment, patience, and a willingness to sit with discomfort. But it is one of the most rewarding journeys a person can take.

In the words of Carl Rogers, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Psychotherapy begins with that paradox—embracing who you are today, in all your complexity—and trusting that, in doing so, you are already taking the first steps toward the change you seek.

Gabriel Millan

Psychotherapist

CRP 01/27509